Sexual consent
Sexual violence is any sexual activity that takes place without someone’s consent. If someone consents to sex, it means they agree by choice, and also that they have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. Find out what consent to sex does and doesn't look like below.
Consent happens when all people involved in a sexual activity agree to take part by choice. They also need to have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
We all have the right to not agree to any type of sexual activity. We have the right to change our minds at any time, or consent to doing one sexual thing with someone but not another.
Sexual activity without consent
Sexual activity without consent is sexual violence.
If someone says "no" to any type of sexual activity, they do not consent.
But if someone doesn't say “no” out loud, that doesn’t automatically mean that they have consented to sex.
If someone seems unsure, stays quiet, moves away or doesn’t respond – this is not consent. Many people who have experienced sexual violence find that they were unable to move or speak - this is a common reaction.
If someone is asleep, unconscious, drunk or drugged, they cannot consent to sexual activity.
If someone is threatened, bullied, pressured or manipulated into saying yes, this is not consent.
If someone's not sure whether you are giving your consent for something sexual, they should check with you.
If they can see or suspect you're not 100% comfortable or happy with what's happening between you, they should stop.
What consent looks like
Here are some examples of what consent does and does not look like in practice.
Consent looks like:
- Enthusiastically saying “yes!”
- Talking to your partner about what you do and don't want, and listening to them in return
- Checking in with your partner – “Is this OK? Do you want to slow down? Do you want to stop?”
- Respecting someone’s choice if they say “no” – never trying to change their mind or put pressure on them
Consent does not look like:
- Feeling like you have to agree to sex because you are worried about your partner’s reaction if you say “no”
- Someone having sex with you when you are asleep or unconscious
- Someone carrying on with sexual activity despite your non-verbal cues – for example, if you pull away, freeze, or seem uncomfortable
- Someone assuming that you want to have sex because of your actions or what you are wearing (for example, flirting, accepting a drink, wearing a short skirt)
- Someone assuming that because you have had sex with them before, you want to have sex again
- Someone removing a condom during sex, when you have only agreed to sex when using one
Sexual activity without consent is sexual violence.
Consent in law
The legal definition of consent is that someone agrees to sexual activity by choice, and also that they have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Freedom to make that choice means they not been forced, manipulated, threatened or pressured into sexual activity.
Capacity means they are not drunk, asleep, drugged or unconscious.
If someone knows or suspects you do not give consent, the law says they must stop.
Age of consent in England and Wales
The age of consent in England and Wales is 16. This is the legal age at which a person can take part in sexual activity.
This applies to everyone, whatever their sex or gender and whatever the sex or gender of the person the sexual activity is with.
The law is there to protect children and young people. It is not used to prosecute under-16s who take part in consensual sexual activity with each other. For example, if two 15 year-olds have mutually consensual sex, they would not be prosecuted. But if an adult aged 18 or over has sex with a 15 year old, it is a crime.
The law also says that anyone under the age of 13 can never consent to sexual activity under any circumstances. This means that taking part in any type of sexual activity with someone younger than 13 is always a crime.
Although the age of consent is 16, the law has some extra protections in place for young people aged 16 and 17. It is illegal to:
- Take a photo or video of someone aged under 18 engaging in sexual activity (for example a sext)
- Pay for sexual services from someone under 18
- Take part in sexual activity with someone under 18 if you are in a position of trust (for example, you are their teacher, social worker, doctor, care worker)
Find out more about child sexual abuse.